Sunday, May 22, 2011

Valuable Lessons

I learnt a few valuable lessons while watching Mr. Yadah Blah......
a)  Don't give your opinion when nobody's asking.
b)  Talk less and listen more.  Much, much more.
c)  Don't eat and talk at the same time.
d)  Don't bang the dinner table while talking.  Especially if it's made of glass.
e)  Never cut people's sentence half way.
f)   Don't tell everybody what you own (eg Canon EOS 550) unless they're asking.
g)  Don't tell everybody what you are going to own (eg Canon EOS 650).  Nobody wants to know.
h)  Don't show off your photos and say how good they are when the horizon is lopsided.
i)   Don't insist that the horizon is lopsided.
j)   Don't ask if you are not really interested in the answer.
k)  Don't repeat your stories/questions.
l)   Don't shriek "What happened to you??!!" when someone has put on a bit of weight.
m) Don't shout "What?!!  Is that really you?? When were this photos taken?" when someone has aged a bit.
n)  Stop telling everyone where you've been and where you're going next.
o)  Don't say "A was a hell hole until I went there.  Now it's Happy Land because of me, me, me." (Yawn)
p)  Don't say "I'm happy and I make people happy!" when you're actually making people miserable.
q)  Don't contradict another person, especially when that person is surer of the facts than you are.
r)  Don't insist on anything unless there's a fly in your coffee.  Incessant talkers won't notice the fly.
s)  Don't I-AM-SURE-you-will-like-this-because-I-DO.  Respect other people's preferences.
t)  Don't shriek or shout when your listener is just 3 feet away.  Loud voices make Wawa piss in fright.
u)  Don't tell Coco she's overweight.  She might just lose her appetite again.
v)  Don't ask me if my "house is a zoo" just because I have 2 dogs and 6 hamsters.
w)  Get to know new friends before dinner.  Not after, when they're about to leave (What?  You're a lawyer/singer/street sweeper/whatever?").
x)  You don't have to tell everybody EVERYTHING about yourself when you've only just met.
y)  If you really must say your piece, start a blog.
z)  This is not the end of my valuable lessons.  I should have used 1,2,3 instead of a,b,c.


Rubie said...

I'm glad I don't have a Mr Yadah Blah in my life. Tooki you may have to move again - and this time don't tell him where you live!!!

Saturday's dinner sounds like sheer hell! The only shining light was your food. I loved your lessons - sounds like you have been running the evening over and over in your head. Did the guests drink more to try and dull the pain of him being there??

Your a good friend to put up with him! Rubie's mum ;-)

Rubie said...

Won't it be funny if he reads your blog!!!!!!!

Rubie's mum.

Tooki said...

hahahaha! I will never let him know about this blog and yes some of my guests did indeed drink!

Schnauzer Days said...

Hee hee, some of those are really funny, we have a problem with a and b though as we are miniature schnauzers so we're very opinionated and very talkative (our human calls it loud!!) ;-) Nice to meet you, Dexter & Louis x

Handy Man, Crafty Woman said...

He's very cute! Thanks for visiting our blog.

Autumn and Jasmine the Maltese said...

That's a lot of reasons to follow through!! haha

Nice to meet ya~!

Autumn and Jasmine

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