Coco : Please, no photos! You are the one being interviewed today.
Mom : Oh, so sorry. I thought you look so pretty after I groomed you.
Coco : Now, where did you learn your grooming..er..skills?
Mom : The internet. They have pictures of schnauzer grooming.
Coco : *gasp* Why did you stop sending me to the pet shop?
Mom : Expensive and they kept increasing. You want toys or expensive haircut?
Coco : Toys, of course.
Coco : Oh really, I insist that you stop taking my photo.
Mom : I just want to show the world how pretty you are.
Coco : You do realise that you shaved me too close to the skin?
Mom : Oh..um..I forgot to attach the comb. It has been a long time since I last cut your hair....
Coco : And you nearly drew blood on top of my head?
Mom : I am SO sorry...people tend to be forgetful, especially when they're middle-aged.
Coco : I cannot face the world anymore! Your grooming makes me look fat!!!!
Mom : That's not true at all. It is your love for tidbits and sweet stuff. Don't blame me.
Coco : I have uneven patches all over me and my forehead is so bare you can see wrinkles there!!
Mom : I am SO sorry, Coco! How can I make it up to you?!
Coco : Belly rubs. At least one hour and preferably longer. More tidbits and toys.
And I want more of that Japanese chizukeki!!! You didn't give me enough. Where is that chunk going to? Don't you know I love cheese? And cakes? You owe me. *SULK SULK*